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Brittney and me... I really need to get new pics...

self- evaluation

EVALUATION: The act or result of judging the worth or value of something or someone: appraisal, appraisement, assessment, estimate, estimation, judgment, valuation.

Well, I decided that last night I would do a self elvauation on myself and then be brave enough to post it on my blog......

My name is Kristin Denise Burris. I life in Garland, Texas. I was born in Baylor University Medical Center 26 years agao. I have 2 brothers and a sister and 2 wonderful parents. I am shy. I am quite. I am self consiouss most of the time. I worry about small things and I sweat about the large thngs. I work. I play. I laugh and I cry. I am sensitive. I am an individual. I am a Christian. I always look for the good things in other people. I have felt pain. I can be a pain. I am a student, I am an employee. I have witnessed death. I have witness life. I have a cat.
I have a dog. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a granddaughter. I am nosey. Sometimes i find out things I don't want to know. I do not unerstand how someone cannot love or give love. I believe that there is still some good in the world. I want someone to love and to be loved by someone. I believe that God is faithful. I believe that Gos is real. I believe in the FATHER, the SON and the HOLY SPIRIT. I believe in life after death. I believe that God sees and knows the deisres of my heart.

God is Bigger than....

I just wanted to mention how big God really is. When we run from God we always run right into him. This weekend of course as everyone know was Easter. I was raised in a Baptist Church. I was one of the fortunate ones that have been blessed with wonderful Christian parents who love and cared for me. But you see God is not religion God is a relationship. Since, my brother died last March my life had sort of driffted into this stage of not wanting to do the right thing. I have the head knowledge and I would even say I have the heart knowledge of His presense. So here I was doing my own thing, talking my own way and going down a road that needed not to be traveled. Sunday Morning I went to church at LakePointe Church(just a little side plug there) and the message was surprised by Jesus..... I had made it through the whole service still continuing to say to myself I am fine I can do what I want and still go to church. At the end of the service Pastor Steve showed a lady who had been incarcerated and had attended Lake Pointe while in jail. She made a statement, "the moment I was arrested was the moment I started to live." The next thing there was various people holding up signs one said "I was lonely, but Jesus filled the void" and " I let me abuse me but GOD healed my wounds." I began to cry and at that moment all of the frustration, pain and suffering I had felt I gave to Jesus. There was one thing that I had been doing that I knew I had to stop but I told God I CANNOT do this on my own you will have to do it and sure enough through His power I did what He had called me to do.... Do you know what the responce I had was unexpected and it was an answer to prayer that I had needed to hear for nearly 5 years. Jesus set me free and gave me the peace and guidance that I needed. I want him to take my life and Him make it His. What is in the darkness will always be exposed in the light..... I know all of this sounds like a bunch of jumble but Jesus touched me in a way that I have not known in a long time. check out the link on my blog to Lake Point

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Everyone!!!!

I don't know

Have you ever been in the car with someone and said, "what do you want to?" they say, " I don't know waht do you want to do?" And then you just drive around for hours repeating the same questions over and over again. Well, I am that person most definatly. I am the one saying I don't know. What do you want to do? I say all of this to say that I am not just like that in this respect but my entire life is a BIG I don't know what do you want. I can never make my own decisions and because of this my mind spins in circles and I just keep saying I don't know what to do? Boy, I am exshausted just tryping all of this. I hope you can follow. I am a very indesisive person. For instance, since I seem to talk about relatioships I will tell you someone once asked me what are you thinking and I tell them Nothing which isn't true. I was thinking what in the world are you doing with your life? Maybe, I think it is not worth talking about or bringing it up because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't know maybe I just don't like conflicts and do not want to cause one. It is a mystery to me.....

cry

Well, this weekend was a tough one for me. I was really down and so you know how when you are down you think of all the past things in life and you get curious and wonder what went wrong and why did things not work, and sometimes curiosity kills the cat. I decided that I would look up info on my x-husband on yahoo to see if he still had a yahoo account and he does. So I looked it up and it said under marital status married. I freaked out!!! I mean I have no feeling for him. I just thought oh my gosh! I am going to be old and frail and still leaving at my parents house and all ALONE!!! I mean I was not the one that ended the marriage he was. He was the big fat jerk and he broke my heart and know he is with someone else???? So I was sitting there crying and in my messery and the song Cry by Faith Hill came on and that is exactly what I wish he would feel. Let me share the lyrics:
Artist:
Faith Hill
Album:
Cry
Title:
Cry
If I had just one tear running down your cheek,Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep. If I had just one moment at your expense Maybe all my misery would be well spent. Yeah.... Could you cry a little. Lie just a little. Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain. I gave now I 'm wanting. Something in return. So cry just a little for me.
If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key. And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me. And you'd hunt those lies. They'd be all you'd ever find. And that'd be all you'd have to know. For me to be fineYeah.... And you'd cry a little

Believe me we would not be able to get back together because to many things have happened. I just hurt because I want God to supply me that special someone who will love me. I know it must not be time, maybe I need to be a little more settle in my own life before God can give me someone. Life is short and I need to live my life in way pleaseing to Him and I know that He will reward me.....

I want to be left alone

I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I guess I feel a little depressed. I just don't feel like being around anyone or doing anything. I feel like I want to isolate myself. I just think maybe if I isolate myself then I won't get hurt anymore. I feel like I go into things with my whole heart and then I get slapped in the face. I don't know I guess I will be ok I just don't see anything good right now.

Valentine's Day

Ok I haven't posted on here in awhile but I thought I should get some of my frustrations out. I think that Valentine's Day is the most overrated day in history. I mean why do you have to a day to say I love you to someone. Can't you just say it everyday. It is a money marketing scam. Maybe I feel this way because I have not had success on the man department. At this point I think that men are pretty much dogs. I do not think all are just the ones that I have encountered. I recently was with this guy and I really liked him. We started spending time together, we spent a week getting to know each other and then suddenly he was no where. No explanation no I am sorry I just don't think this working out or anything. He was just gone. If you are going to dump me then tell me don't just not say anything. I am through with relationships and guys. I don't like being treated badly and I think I have had enough of that for a while. So this Valentine's Day I am on strike "LOVE STINKS" that is my vote no more valentine's day..........

The sky's the limit

Hey.....

So I survived the Skycoaster and SpeedZone. The deal was that Brittney my friend paid for me to get on this ride called a skycoater so if I could paint you a picture it would be something like this. There are 2 people and they strap you into these vests that feel like xray jackets there is a bar at the bottom of the jackets. Then you get on this platform and you lie flat on your stomach and they rope you up so you are rising to the very top vertical the whole time. I screamed and yelled and told Brittney that this present sucks and that I may die. The whole time I was honestly thinking this could be my last Birthday experience. My legs where shaking so bad I could not control them. I tried but they were like wet noodles. We got to the very top and Brittney said ok I am going to pull the string are you ready. I was screamed yes!!! She pulled and we hurled through the air like maniacs........ We swung from one end to the other. Yah!!! all in all it was great........ I was scared out of my mind but I think that it was fun and I might think about doing that again.
check out Brittney's blog and you can see a few pictures.

Trying So Hard

Ok, so I am in school and I am taking the hardest subject for me, "College Algebra." I hired a tutor and we started looking at the Algebra book this summer. The previous semester I took the course but, I had to drop out because I was sick. Anyway, so we started looking at the book and it was easy and I understood. I started the semester and the teacher walked in and I thought oh great this is horrible. The man is short and he has a pot belly and he is Asian, in a sense he looks like a Buddha guy. I really am not prejudice it is just that in the past I have has foreign teachers and I could not understand them. This teacher is no different. So I continued to plug along and I tried I studied every second of every minute I had I went to tutoring. The time came I took my first test I froze up and I made a "63". I cried my eyes out, I thought how stupid I was. I was more upset because I tried as hard as I could and still I did not pass the test. Since, then I haven't pushed as hard and I have tried to relax more but I feel like I am trying to give up. I can't give up!!!! I must proceed and do better on the next test.

Likewise, has anyone ever felt like they are trying real hard to do the right thing and then fall? Do you give up and not try so hard or do you press on. We all should press on.

His Name

Yesterday, at church Wes talked about how we use the Lord's name. I never thought that I was guilty of misusing His name. I mean I don't cuse, I don't use profanity with his name BUT, I am guilty of going about my day saying, "Thank you Jesus," and "Praise God" Do I really mean what I say or is it just something that I have come a customed to saying. It is real easy to adapt to the world around us and get caught up in what people are doing and saying arounds us. Alot of times I really mean what I am saying so I say,"Thank you, Jesus and I really mean it." So people do not think that I am just saying that to say it. I don't think that I have to explain myself to anyone but I do it to remind myself what and why I say what I say. Well, that is all of my blog entry for today so tune in next time for another adventureous tale in the life of Kristin Burris......

GRIPE SESSION

You know sometimes people can be so difficult to talk to or get along with. You say something is white and the other person swears that it is black. You can swear that it is purple and the say it is definitely orange. You just want to pinch there heads off and say sometimes you are not right quit arguing with me. Sometime people get a kick out of always thinking they are right. I mean no one likes to be wrong but when we are wrong we should own up to it. Why do we not own up to us being wrong? Is it that satisfying smile that comes across our face when we think ah ha I am right that keeps us from owning up to when we are wrong. I don't know maybe it is...... Anyway I done with my gripe session............ Have a nice night...... I am so right!!!!!

PRAISE

I am so thrilled because our class is spliting off and starting a new class. I am so excited because I get to be a part of the action. I will get to be the event coordinator and therefore we will have a lot of events...... It's play time. No in all seriousness I am so thankful that God has blessed me with the opportunity to met and be a part of such an awesome single class. There was a time in my life that was not so great.

I know that many people do not know but I was married before for two years to the guy that I thought that I would spend the rest of my life with. We did a good job of playing the role of church and we did the church things. I know that I can only speak for me but I know that I only did the motions and I did not serve God with my whole heart.

I know what it feels like to be hurt and I know what it feels like to love someone so much. Praise God he restored back to me what I had lost and has given my so much more than I could ever imagine.

IM STILL HERE

Hey all, I am still here. I just have to get the thoughts and paterns in my head about what I want to talk about. You know these blogs are suppose to be meaningful. They need to give you something to chew on. A food for thought. So lots of big changes in my life. I am deternmined this semester to get through with my College Algebra!!! Please Lord Jesus....... Let me pass. Is that a selfish prayer. I do not think so I mean I have to get through it in order to move on. I need to. Anyway this blog entry will be short. I just wanted to keep all posted that I am still here!!!!!!!

THE CHICKENS

Ok so today I was on my way to work and I was behind this truck and feathers started blowing toward my car. I thought how strange so I started to look a little closer at the truck and I realized that there was a bunch of white chickens on top of each other all throughout this truck. I started to think what a tragedy this was for these chickens. I wonder if they knew what their fate was. I then began to make faces and little noises like,"Awe little chicken, you cute little things you." I wonder if the people beside me thought that I was completely nuts and if they did they are not far from the truth. Anyway, that was on my mind. I just thought that I would blog my morning drive experience. This is just to prove how crazy I really am.

Do you think that God looked at all of us like the Chickens when he sent Jesus his only Son to die for us? I mean really none of us knew our fate and that is why we had to have a savior. We need someone to die for us in order to save us from the slaughter.

Life is Too Short

It has really been brought to my attention that life is short. One minute and day you are walking around and everything is so going your way. You can't even imagine your life being any different and then the next day Bam!!!! Someone so important to your life is gone...... It is like tunnel vision you know everything is black around you until you see a flicker of light. It just feels basically like crap!!! Something is missing and it cannot be replaced. There is no way that you can replace it..... You wouldn't want to really...... Somedays you go without even thinking about them and then somedays you see someone who looks like them and you go back to a time when you remember the smell,the look about them and the smiles.

I know that people have heard of this before but I have to tell this again. You know when you are born like me 10-6-79 well when I die there will be a dash in the middle and then it usually states the date you die. What will be your dash? Will your dash be that you could have lived a better life? Will your dash say she/he was a Christian, oh you never would have guess that?

Live Life to the fullest because you never know when it is gone.

The Art of Being Intelligent

You know I have been reading other peoples bloggs more since I started blogging myself. I think that sometimes I must be the stupidest person in the world. I am so not as smart as some people. People put a lot of time into the blog itself. You know like people do word searches: What is hope? You know I did watch "Hope Floats" last night does that count as studying the word hope..... and love what does love have to do with it? As Tina Turner once sang about. However, the great man, Forrest Gump once said," I may not be a smart man but I do know what love is?" Ok, ok let's think what is the definition of smart? Smart as defined by Webster dictionary, "an affectedly witty or fashionable person." Now if you look at the word intelligent it says--having or indicating a high or satisfactory degree of intelligence and mental capacity b : revealing or reflecting good judgment or sound thought : SKILLFUL. I would like to think that everyone at sometime has a moment of intelligency if we make good sound judgment. So here posses my question is it good to be smart or is rather better to be intelligent???? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! I do think that I am fashionable and for the most part people like to hang with me because of my whitt..... But what does the Bible say about smart or intelligence? For you gladly put up with fools since you are so smart! 2Co 11:19 I love that!!!! That is so great! *****The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of understanding. Pr 17:27***** Wow!!! The intelligent restrain there words!!! Sounds almost like a challenge...... I am not sure what I was so interested in the topic except that I want to be smart and intelligent. I think all people excel in different things and a person is not stupid just because they do not know something. Again Forrest Gump said,"Stupid is as Stupid does."

It's Bananas

I am back from New York and let me tell you it is a whole different world than what I knew. I think that I have been sheltered most of my life and kept from the things that are really there. I was faced with a big fear and that is approaching people that I did not know. Everyday, God brought me out a little bit more and pulled me into facing people that were lost and could not find their way. I know for sure that the people of New York are just like that people in Dallas. They are very focused, on the go people. On the last day we were doing what we had done the whole week, we passed out gum and pocket sized subway maps. I started to yell "FREE GUM, anybody want a free pack of gum." Tons of people came and though some rejected the truth others accepted and I know that seeds have been planted. It is hard to face rejection and it is not always easy but God is the expert on rejection it is not just me they rejected it was Jesus Christ that they turned away. Servent Evangelism is draining because there is a spiritual battle that takes place. The plane on the way back was very hard because our flight was delayed and it caused us to miss our connecting flight to Dallas. We ended up staying the night in Atlanta and then catching the flight to Dallas on the way back. The whole time the song "BLESSED BE YOUR NAME" was in my head and I know God was wanting me to see that he will still get the glory. We had trials and troubles along the way but it was all worth knowing that the seeds have been planted in the hearts of New York City.

Start spreading the news

Ok everyone today is the last day here in dallas texas. Because tomorrow I am off to New York City for a mission trip. I have a lot of excitement, anticipation and nervousness. Ok, I know everyone wants to know my fears but here they are. I am scared too death about flying on an airplane. So we will see how everything goes on that..... I will think happy and calm thoughts throughout the trip. I am also scared about getting lost but I have my pass to give to the cab driver that tells him where my hotel is. This is so exciting and I am sure that I will have more to tell when I get back.......